This morning I pray to Ganesh, and all the rest of the gods, for a little help in getting through the next phase of training. No only have I not completed all the reading that I set my sights on finishing, my body seems to be rebelling about my recent leap forward into a fast-moving, full on, powerfully good and hot class.
As I sit quietly, my emotions as palpable as my pulse, I remind myself that all emotions are good. This fear, apprehension, feeling of defeat, and sadness is a valid and important as the excitement, anticipation, hopefulness, and pride for how far I have come (even if it is not as far as I think I should). The mixture of emotions is not all that unfamiliar to me. It’s a lot like the feeling I’ve had just before toeing the line for a big marathon where uncertainties about preparation, residual effects from injuries not quite healed, past races where my performance fell short of my goal compete with all positive affirmations and preparations put down to pave the way to success.
It is important to go into these challenges remembering that any and all movement forward is good. Just like missing the goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon was not really a failure but rather another 26.2 miles of forward movement towards a goal, so too will be completing these 100 hours of yoga training. The time is NOW! Ready or not, here I go.